WRITTEN TRULY

Moon Hee-jun

Hee-jun was the eldest and the leader of H.O.T, meaning the one who had to bear the greatest responsibility, sometimes solely, for all issues related to the group, whether collective or individual, all while already struggling with his mental health. Just to add more, after H.O.T debuted and started making money, Hee-jun basically became the pillar of his family because once his father saw that his son was earning, he quietly left.

Despite contributing immensely and being the backbone of H.O.T, Moon Hee-jun was heavily discredited (which doesn’t mean he was invisible, he was one of the most famous idols of his time, even long after disbandment) and faced one of the biggest waves of anti-fans. Of course, SM had no proper measures to protect their artist from that. Some people believe SM must have treated him well since he was one of the two members who stayed after disbandment. But fun fact: Hee-jun later had to use his own money and fan funds to produce his solo album while still under SM.

He eventually left the company, but the anti-fans remained, and they still pop up even now to mock Moon Hee-jun.

Jang Woo-hyuk

The one Lee S** M** favored the most in the early days, but a tyrant’s love is never simple.

Throughout H.O.T’s career, Jang Woo-hyuk was famous (or even infamous) for his strong image: aggressive, irritable, hot-tempered, use whatever word you want. And that image was encouraged by SM. You could say SM “indulged” him and allowed him to act however he wanted.

But looking closer, Jang Woo-hyuk most likely had anger issues or related problems. Considering his background (he was bullied as a child and had to resort to violence to defend himself, and he had a very bad relationship with his father), that assumption becomes even stronger.

Instead of acknowledging this and seeking ways to help, Lee S** M** encouraged the symptoms. Even if Korean society at the time didn’t value mental health, especially for minors (and honestly, it still doesn’t much now), what kind of normal adult tells a kid the age of their own children to be as aggressive as possible?

SM did exactly that. The result was a Jang Woo-hyuk who often lost control of his anger, from conflicts with fellow H.O.T members (especially Moon Hee-jun) to later allegations of assaulting trainees.

And Jang Woo-hyuk was among those who left the company over unfair profit distribution, he’s the “j” in jtL.

Tony An

Tony had had severe mental health issues dating back to when he was in the U.S., but once again, SM stuck to its principle of “not giving a damn.”

Tony’s story is long and shouldn’t be simplified, but briefly: when he debuted at 18, his background already included divorced parents, his father remarried multiple times (one of the reasons Tony later felt reluctant about marriage), he had suicidal tendencies, and was even once considered for removal from the group.

After debut, things didn’t get better, they got worse. Tony has publicly spoken about how terrible he felt throughout his time in H.O.T. He frequently had mental episodes, but they were always simplified as laziness.

For example, once when the group was preparing to leave for the airport to fly to China for a schedule, everyone else was awake but Tony stayed stubbornly in bed, unable to get up because he was going through an episode. No matter what the members did, he wouldn’t move. The staff’s solution? Threaten to kick him out of the group.

There’s much more, but it’s not appropriate to lay everything out here. Tony An was the next one to leave, the “t” in jtL.

Kangta

The only one still at SM, but that doesn’t mean he was safe.

Shortly, Kangta was heavily sexualized from the time he was still a minor, by company strategy, by the media, and by fans. He had both talent and visuals and was considered the standard for vocal skill and the “original template” for SM’s visual title. Yet more than anything, people fixated on calling him “sexy” (“sexy guy is Kangta!”).

So what happens to a teenage boy who is nationally labeled and endlessly hyped as “sexy” from age 16–17?

Kangta didn’t become rotten to the core. He still has decent qualities and a sensitive artist’s soul. He has a very large ego. He’s not exactly the kind of superior who respects your personal boundaries at work. His difficulty isn’t just perfectionism, it goes beyond that (BoA once recounted about his utmost difficulty during recording sections, to the point it made her cry). He was also known as a womanizer, though he seems more settled with his current partner now.

Lee Jae-won

The youngest. The most forgotten. The one who perhaps wasn’t hit the hardest blow by SM, but was stabbed slowly, little by little, left to ache every day.

Lee Jae-won was heavily overshadowed, his role nearly reduced to filling out the lineup or attracting fans who liked the “innocent boy” image. He wasn’t truly ready to be an idol at debut. He failed badly in his auditions before passing (because of fear, pressure,...), but Lee S** M** let him through due to his “potential”.

You’d think if L** S** M** personally chose him, he’d at least be treated well and properly developed. But no. Jae-won was rarely given singing lines during H.O.T’s era, often placed at the edge of performance formations (though to be fair, at the time his dancing wasn’t as strong as the others).

He was likely restricted not only in singing and dancing but also in personality. He was labeled the group’s “shy guy,” the quiet maknae who often faded into the background, introverted, unremarkable, unimportant..

But perhaps Jae-won’s silence in H.O.T was a withdrawn silence. How can a child who hadn’t fully matured, still shaken by the loss of a loved one, dealing with autism, comfortably express himself in a world spinning too fast, where all attention was already focused on his older members?

But maybe one positive thing: after leaving SM with Tony and Woo-hyuk to complete jtL as the “L,” he seemed far more confident, both on stage and off.